Yay! It is Christmas Eve and the world has not ended on 21st! I had been really busy with caroling on Thursday, Friday and Saturday until I barely had time to blog. Caroling drained my energy and also my voice. We went for four to five houses per night and sang more than eight songs per house. *fainted* Yes, I drafted but I didn't post it due to some reasons which you will find out soon enough. Muahahaha~ But first, let me post a camwhore picture of myself during caroling~ And yes, we wore our "Year of Faith" red tee shirt with red cap on our heads.
I accidentally uninstalled the Chinese word input on Tuesday night after a blur case moment and then decided to reinstall the software the next morning by downloading it from the website. I realized that I can change the skin so I went and searched for Stitch, but there was no result until I asked help from Kryss and she sent me a printscreen of a website she searched for Stitch in chinese name. And I saw a simple but cute skin so I downloaded it. Ngek ngek ngek.
I accidentally uninstalled the Chinese word input on Tuesday night after a blur case moment and then decided to reinstall the software the next morning by downloading it from the website. I realized that I can change the skin so I went and searched for Stitch, but there was no result until I asked help from Kryss and she sent me a printscreen of a website she searched for Stitch in chinese name. And I saw a simple but cute skin so I downloaded it. Ngek ngek ngek.
To make my day wonderful enough to leave a silly smile on my face, I received a parcel from my almost 9 years BFF, Cylviana. She truly surprised me with a gift for Christmas. I had no idea she'd buy a gift for me and had it delivered to me. OMG. I was very, very touched. And not to mention, my sister took a part in the surprise by giving out my address to Cylviana and kept quiet about this. Honestly, surprises are fun, especially when they are from someone who really treasure you. But I have to make a tiny note here, these kind of surprises should be those pleasant surprises, not those "Surprise, motherfucker! Suck it up, bitch!" type. Some people are good in planning surprises while some not. I for one, suck in giving surprises. Hahaha. Seriously. I failed to surprise Cylviana when I decided to get her a birthday present. This was because the seller decided to send the present straight to her house and I guessed she had no idea how to reach her house. In the end, I had to give her Cylviana's phone number so she could contact her and asked for direction. Surprise failed. Damn. And just as an advice to no one in particular, surprises should be a pleasant one, not the kind which make you feel like you are freaking foolish and idiotic and unimportant. Surprises are meant for someone special, (well, unless if you hate that person to the level you want to plan a surprise highway to hell for him/her,) so surprises must be delightful enough to cheer that special someone. Hmmm. Fuck me, what the hell am I trying to hint?
Taadaa!
I managed to solve this on my third attempt.
It is a 3D Crystal Swan Puzzle!
I was supposed to get a dolphin
but the seller mistaken the parcel
between Cylviana's cousin and me.
By the way, I realized that friendship is a very absurd thing. Some might last for a short while but some last forever. Some are close at first and drift apart in the end. Some are not so close and get very close in the end. Some are close and get closer in the end. Weird, but true. I have been through all kinds of friendships and seriously, I last the longest with Cylviana. It may be because we always have a lot to talk to each other, we vent our feelings to each other when we are angry or upset at some bastards or bitches, we are honest with each other and most importantly, we always talk nonsense stuffs and get so high and epic and crazy until we laugh nonstop at our conversation. I really treasure this friendship. And sure, I treasure my friendships with others too, such as Kryss, Eberwein, Stepfanie, Siik Ee and the rest but still, I use a different method, different approach to each and every one of them. For example, I'd go "Fuck you, witch" or simply send an international finger to start conversation with Eberwein and I could not possible did the same thing to Stepfanie. Hahaha. That will seriously freak her out.
I watched a video just for fun and I guessed it was a wrong decision. It depicts seven stages in a relationship: Meeting, Chase, Honeymoon, Comfortable, Tolerate, Downhill and Breakup. I started to cry right when the second stage started. Flashbacks fucking hurt, but whatever it might take, I shall accept it and move on. I think I shall retreat to a corner and lick my wounds instead of getting myself involve in another relationship. I don't want a non-serious or non-committing ones and I think I'd better just stay alone instead of getting rip open in the chest and have my heart broken down to pieces. It's too hurtful for me to handle, especially when I thought we would be together forever. HAHA. Point your finger (either index or middle) and laugh at me, I won't get offended. I know I'm fucking stupid to begin with, fucking stupid to actually trying to convince myself that happily ever after exists. It does, but I'm not privileged to enjoy it. Never.
20.12.2012. It is a wonderful date and I spent the morning after midnight shedding most tears of all ever since the start of December. Irony. I was deleting the sweet messages from him which I kept ever since we knew each other. When reading through the content, tears kept dropping nonstop. Feelings from him, gone. Love from him, gone. Heartache, remained. There are too much regrets. I regret for taking his care for granted. I regret for treating him so good. I regret for not stopping him from falling in love with me. I regret for accepting his kiss. I regret for starting this relationship. I regret for loving him so deep. But, I don't regret for breaking up. It is not because I don't love him anymore or I never love him, but I cannot accept the fact that he has been hurting me during this entire relationship. He had gotten less committed into this relationship when he was so committed into it when it first started. The lies were getting more frequent, they didn't make sense and that was why I found out about the truth. It was because of these, I was getting too paranoid about everything. And in the end, I hurt him too. If giving him back his freedom will make him happy while both of us remained unhurt, I'd rather stand at the corner, wishing him all the best in his life while slowly disappear from his heart.
I went to renew my IC and the dude who took my picture made me speechless. At first, he told me that my name was nice. And he kept, "You are so cute larh~" nonstop before, during and after taking the picture. WHADAFUQ? I felt damn speechless plus shy. Some more, my mother was at the next counter, having her picture taken. LOLOLOL. And Cylviana told me I might show my epic DAFUQ face in the IC. HAHAHA! I should take the picture after I got it and then show it to everyone my face. When I went to take my license and passport picture the next day, mother kept teasing me with, "You so cute larh~" OMFG.
Okay, I made a huge effort in trying to find everything he gave me and put them away. Going through these stuffs was not easy at all. I was chatting with Mary and she mentioned about her crush stuffs. And then I mentioned about my stuffs while tears dropped. Then, I excused myself to put away the items as shown in picture above. A trip down the memory land really made me cry, hard. I was sobbing while browsing through the items and sobbed harder when reading the notes he wrote for me. I confiscated our memories and also my feelings for him by sealing them away along with the items. Later on, I stupidly gone through the pictures I uploaded in Facebook and read through the comments while smiling stupidly at them. Pictures, they can be deleted in just a matter of seconds, but how about my feelings and our memories? How much time do I have to use in order to get over this?
Hahaha~ Brother, I don't believe in Santa. But, I do believe in God. I know He will guide me and heal me as time goes on. Thank you for spamming my walls with quotes and my inbox with messages. I'd really appreciate it.
20.12.2012. It is a wonderful date and I spent the morning after midnight shedding most tears of all ever since the start of December. Irony. I was deleting the sweet messages from him which I kept ever since we knew each other. When reading through the content, tears kept dropping nonstop. Feelings from him, gone. Love from him, gone. Heartache, remained. There are too much regrets. I regret for taking his care for granted. I regret for treating him so good. I regret for not stopping him from falling in love with me. I regret for accepting his kiss. I regret for starting this relationship. I regret for loving him so deep. But, I don't regret for breaking up. It is not because I don't love him anymore or I never love him, but I cannot accept the fact that he has been hurting me during this entire relationship. He had gotten less committed into this relationship when he was so committed into it when it first started. The lies were getting more frequent, they didn't make sense and that was why I found out about the truth. It was because of these, I was getting too paranoid about everything. And in the end, I hurt him too. If giving him back his freedom will make him happy while both of us remained unhurt, I'd rather stand at the corner, wishing him all the best in his life while slowly disappear from his heart.
I went to renew my IC and the dude who took my picture made me speechless. At first, he told me that my name was nice. And he kept, "You are so cute larh~" nonstop before, during and after taking the picture. WHADAFUQ? I felt damn speechless plus shy. Some more, my mother was at the next counter, having her picture taken. LOLOLOL. And Cylviana told me I might show my epic DAFUQ face in the IC. HAHAHA! I should take the picture after I got it and then show it to everyone my face. When I went to take my license and passport picture the next day, mother kept teasing me with, "You so cute larh~" OMFG.
Okay, I made a huge effort in trying to find everything he gave me and put them away. Going through these stuffs was not easy at all. I was chatting with Mary and she mentioned about her crush stuffs. And then I mentioned about my stuffs while tears dropped. Then, I excused myself to put away the items as shown in picture above. A trip down the memory land really made me cry, hard. I was sobbing while browsing through the items and sobbed harder when reading the notes he wrote for me. I confiscated our memories and also my feelings for him by sealing them away along with the items. Later on, I stupidly gone through the pictures I uploaded in Facebook and read through the comments while smiling stupidly at them. Pictures, they can be deleted in just a matter of seconds, but how about my feelings and our memories? How much time do I have to use in order to get over this?
Hahaha~ Brother, I don't believe in Santa. But, I do believe in God. I know He will guide me and heal me as time goes on. Thank you for spamming my walls with quotes and my inbox with messages. I'd really appreciate it.
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