Cinderella

I should keep up with "hohoho" this routine at Eberwein because thanks to her status, I kept laughing nonstop whenever I saw my profile picture. And she was speechless with me whenever I kept "hohoho" because she thought I was in my depressed breakup stage. And no, I wasn't. I was just being hyperly insane because my mood was super good at the moment. For no reason. HAHAHA~

Henry knew I hadn't really let go of my memories and he ended up spamming my wall with quotes and pictures. It was epic and I kept smiling like an idiot. The quotes were meaningful and the pictures were cute! Then, I was humming Taylor Swift's song silently and Ivan went, "Never ever ever ever, getting back together~" I was like, "YOU KNOW HOW TO SING?" while he smiled shyly. Kryss said maybe he might be in relationship before. LOLOLOL~ Kids nowadays... Tsk tsk tsk~

I hoped my face wouldn't be damaged by Ivan. He kicked me in the face when mother was fetching me to Kryss' mother's saloon. Kryss commented that my hair was quite brownish and it would be easy for the dyes to stick on my hair. HOHOHO~ Chestnut blonde, wait for me! I shall have you on my hair after I took my license picture and also my new IC picture. Muahahaha! Kryss' father trusted me because he thought I wouldn't make Kryss going home in a drunk state. Imagined if I had second round last night and she did end up being drunk, I guessed her father would lose his trust on me already. Oh, how I wish I can get drunk. Never mind, I guessed I would have the chance when I'm back to Miri next month. LOL!

It was a lucky move when I decided to pull Kryss to buy dinner first before buying Starbucks drink because I complained that I wouldn't be full by just drinking a cup of drink. We went to buy sushi and went back to Starbucks. This time, she got her cup written "Kryss" while I had mine written "Evelyn". I was so surprised when the staff at the counter told me that I was the Starbucks luck customer and I had to log on to their website, keyed in a code and then answered a series of survey before I'd get a code for my free beverage. When he had finished preparing my drink, he was like, "Dark Mocha Frappucino for Miss Evelyn" and I guessed I floated over to the counter to get my drink. HAHAHA!

After finished my dinner while half-hidden at the corner of the Starbucks, Kryss' friend came and joined us so they could buy a birthday present for their friend. I followed and listened to their stories and recent gossips. Kryss was afraid that she might ignored me or I would be bored since she was talking to her friend, but I was really okay with it because I'm a good listener. Hehe. We chatted at Starbucks after finished window shopping and then we were being chased out of Starbucks since they were preparing to shut down. We proceeded to Coffee Bean, sitting outside while resuming our talk. When the lights went off after 2330, I told them I needed to go home because I'd turn Cinderella after 12 since mother was waiting for me because I had no keys.

It's 14th, Ivan's 4th birthday, Hug Day and it used to be my first official date with someone last year. And tonight, I had my nephew's birthday party dinner at MCD near the highway, which is also the place where I hung out with him few times when we dated. At this point, you all must be like, "DAFUQ! Him again?" Okay, no doubt he might be mentioned in this post again but it wasn't as if I could help it, right? Blog is my venting place and since I reduced my BLOGS into ONE, I guessed I didn't have any choice but write everything here. Keeping everything bottled up wasn't a good option, nor did writing in so many blogs. It was tiring for me to keep up with two blogs and I had to consider whether that one particular thought had to end up either in public or secret. Does it even matter now? Nope. I think embracing the truth is better than denying with lies. At least, I can face my feelings honestly, not by trying to convince myself to do something I'm not totally okay with it.

Stepfanie was very worried about me after she read my blog posts. I wasn't pretending to be happy or pretending that I wasn't upset. It was just that I did not hide my feelings anymore. I would totally be honest. If anyone asked whether I still love him, I'd say yes. If one day I say I have already let go and no longer have feelings for him, then I'm telling the truth. A friend of mine asked Kryss whether I was having a stable relationship with him and then was shocked to see that I was single few weeks later. Too many wondered what happened to such stable relationship, and I could only say that every relationship has its ups and downs. Communication. Honesty. Commitment.

For now, maybe he still loves me, maybe he doesn't anymore, maybe he starts to love someone else, or maybe he wants to get to know more girl friends and slowly falls in love with someone he thinks who might suit him. And I don't want to make any assumption or trying to bother with his privacy. Yes, I can do so if I want but that doesn't mean I will. I had a hard time falling asleep last night and my mind was still fresh although it was past 0200. And I blamed it on the Dark Mocha I had for dinner. Hahaha~ Also, I did something bold last night and was very proud of myself. I challenged myself to read through the conversations during his previous trip to Kampar when we clashed and no tears were present as I read through everything before deleting them off my phone. My heart was no longer in pain and it wasn't because it was numb with pain but I felt like a spectator who came across with text messages in a phone which I picked up somewhere.

Witch, thank you for awakened me with your words. Eberwein scolded me and told me that since I had already chosen to end everything, I should not complain. The problem was, I wasn't complaining. I just found it hard to let go. Yet, I chose to take baby little steps to walk away from my pain instead of jumping off a cliff immediately and hurt myself more. As I walked around Aeon Station 18, memories of me walking with him were still fresh in my mind. Even when I was at the arcade and Kryss and her friend were playing basketballs, I remembered about the times I spent with him on Genting Highland and also the moments we spent at arcade in Jusco. It doesn't matter where I go because the memories with him will be forever etched in my mind.

I saw Kent Lee, my second ex boyfriend, when I was sitting outside Coffee Bean. At first, I didn't notice him but he turned and looked at us as he walked past. I didn't think he recognized me but I guessed he'd turn around because Kryss and her friend were talking in a loud voice. I saw his face and it took me 5 seconds to remember that it was him. Anyways, is this information crucial? I don't know either.  I have three ex boyfriends but it doesn't mean I'm not serious in relationship. My sister says no matter how much I explained, I have three exes, although with the first two, I wasn't being serious. True to her word, I knew my first ex is a playboy before I started with him so I had already have the heart preparation to get dumped or being played. I started my second relationship because of his friendship with Sherilyn and David, plus I was trying to avoid "le siblings crush" from Jeremy. It was a waste breaking with him although we were never serious because he matched my "boyfriend" criteria at the moment but he was too narcissistic for my liking. And thus, Kent Lee, you earned my international finger o0o Peace out, ciao.