16 September 2015


I'm not everyone's favourite, so it doesn't matter if I'm being forgotten. That is what I've been telling myself lately, trying to convince myself not to be overly sensitive to this kind of thing. The fact that I've been moving around so much during my childhood and adolescent life makes it difficult for me to bond with people. I'm afraid to get attached to people, so one day, I found myself retreating to a corner, blocking everyone else off and sprouting my introvert personality. I do open up to some people, yet not everyone seems to accept the real me. They try to change me, my personality, my attitude, the way I think and the way I interact with people. There were few times I tried to change for the sake of their approvals. I tried, gotten hurt, retreated to lick my wounds and hid myself away. Then, I'd reach out again, only to be judged, and the process would repeat itself again. I'm tired of all these bullshit. If it's so hard to acknowledge the real me, what's the point of taking off my mask? I'd rather be left alone. Someday, I'd look back and laugh at myself for behaving like an outcast who was trying so hard to be accepted. Somehow, I'd come to my senses that nobody's worth for me to alter myself just to meet their expectations. Sometimes, it's okay to be myself.

Memories will fade;
the pain, sad experiences will be made into life lessons,
the joyful reminiscences will turn foggy
and everything will become merely fuzzy recollection.

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