This kind of feeling is really unbearable, unable to cry, yet when tears finally dropped, the sense of loss is too strong to handle. It is not exactly a lie, but an untold fact which leads to my misunderstanding and he can just don't tell me because it is not such a big deal to him. Yet, he knows that it might be important for me to know the truth and I'm grateful for his honesty. After hearing what he said, there's too much mixed feelings I'm going through. Upset. Unhappy. Jealous. Grieved. Confused. No, I'm not angry. Mind? I do. But what can I do? It has already happened. And then, keeping these mixed feelings bottled up until few hours later before they erupted into tears, I realized crying is good, actually. It helps to get rid of those feelings. And then I'd feel better. Not insisting him to come over just now although I missed him so badly because I was on the verge of tears, and I just got better after crying.
You told me that you never know you'd find someone like me, someone whom you love so much and someone who is worth of your love. Am I really that worthy?
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