I actually used almost two days to recuperate from my alcohol session on Thursday. It had been a long time since I consumed red wine in such high quantity and my kidneys cannot handle the ultrafiltration job. OMG. Biology again. Hahaha~ I missed my Biology lessons during Form 6. I learnt a lot. Speaking about Biology, I went to the morning market on Saturday and mother was buying the pork meat when I was browsing through the body parts. I recognized livers, kidneys, stomach and intestines. Ewww. Ever since the rat dissection in March, I could recognize them better. Biology, you left a deep trauma on me.
Mostly, I stayed home being a good girl since no one asked me out and I helped to babysit my nephew. I pitied myself most of the times. I was being jumped on and stepped over although I was sitting on the couch, doing nothing but watching drama while hugging Ivan's Daddy Patrick Ouch. It was really painful because he wasn't LIGHT! During the dinner at DRAGON-i on Sunday night, Ivan was sitting next to me and he was treating me as a human swing and kept swinging while clinging on me. My hands hurt so much. I could build muscles already, thanks to him. But he cheered me up when he sang "What Makes You Beautiful" in the car. He barely knew the lyrics and he kept, "oh-oh-oh" there. So cute! Hahaha!
Sometimes, I still cry. For someone who is rational, I cannot believe I can turn so idiotic because of him. I've thrown away quite a lot of self-respect, I've earned too much opposition and I've wasted too much feelings in this relationship. Love is blind. I'm blind. Being in relationship blinded me. Throwing away all the warnings in my head, I chose to follow my heart. It was being touched not only once and I was moved by his actions and stuffs he did. I did earn a wonderful relationship but it didn't last long when a lie triggered the relationship foundation. If it wasn't for that moment of dishonesty, I wouldn't be so insecure. If it wasn't for that moment of dishonesty, I wouldn't be so paranoid. If it wasn't for that moment of dishonesty, I would have still believe in love.
There was an article I came across on Sunday morning, whereby it mentioned about something which I had been asked by him before. "If one day I'm bankrupt or turn ugly or become fat or sick or have incurable disease, will you still be there for me, taking care of me and love me the same?" No, this isn't exactly what he asked me but the content is almost the same, which also an extract from the article I read. He hasn't work, he doesn't have money but I still date him. He isn't the most handsome or cutest guy in everyone's eyes, but I still date him. He used to be fat, he is slim now, but that doesn't mean it might maintain the same way. He is always easily tired, he has nose problem for he cannot stay long in an air-conditioned room, sometimes his nose bleed and he has safety phobia. He always worried he might get cancer. I told him that I don't mind, that I still will be there for him and still love him the same. And until now, this answer hasn't changed.
There's no New Year Resolution I'd make for 2013 when I can't even keep my 2012 ones. It was totally fucked-up and I have no intention for the history to repeat itself. Anyhow, I have some wishes and words for some important people in my life. Pardon if I had left out some names either intentionally or unintentionally. For those I'd left out unintentionally , I'd apologize for not bringing your name because I have no idea what to say. For those I'd left out intentionally, fuck yourself and have yourself a fucking great year ahead.
JTTH:
Hmmm~ A month's time is still not enough to remove you from this first place. I've been writing and erasing and it takes a really long time to write this. There's too much thing to tell you but I don't think it's necessary already. Wishing you a Happy New Year 2013 and hoping you can be happy. Good luck for your SPM and all the best in everything else. Take care of your health while enjoying your life.
Rita:
Stop being a busy mommy for Money and start to work hard on getting a nephew/niece so I can proclaim myself as aunt again :D Hehehe~ Anyways, I can't wait see you and hang out with you again when I'm back Miri in few days time. Let's explore the food! Kolomee, Laksa, Sushi, Ramen, Secret Recipe Cheesecake, Pizza and so on~ OMG. I miss you a lot, sister! I ♥ you! Take care!
Cylviana:
My beloved 9 years (and still counting!) BFF a.k.a. Pitopus, the Virgo who has almost the same thought, same idea and same mind as me so we can extend our friendship into partner-in-crime and also lesbo partner. I really treasure our friendship and hope that it can go on forever until we are old and ugly (or pretty). HAHAHA. I know you put me third in your life after your family and MINWOO, but I still can't believed I lost to a KPOP artist. *cried* Enjoy your life to the fullest, don't stress out about your studies and you are welcome to find me if you got any problems regarding friendships, relationship, hardships or whatever-ships it is except Titanic. It sinks! GYAHAHAHA! ♥ you!
Kryss:
衰囡包，不要每次因为带不到我去蒲就觉得很对不起我。我知道你的朋友很疯狂，我又很斯文的那种，你又怕你会忽略我所以才不想我去。我真的没关系啦 ;3 没有去蒲又不会少一块肉，能省回钱把它用在更需要的地方不是更好吗？呵呵~ 要开心的过日子噢 ♥ 还有蛮多东西还没跟你聊的~ 找个时间再聊聊 (*¯︶¯*)
Eberwein:
Witch, go fuck yourself. LOLOLOL~ I hope you can stay happy with leafson and don't always argue, tolerate with each other and be a good girlfriend, good daughter and good friend. When you're back Ipoh, I will personally rape you with forks until you give me my belated birthday present. Where the hell is it? D; HAHAHA! Long time didn't see you already, I certainly will forget how you look like. If we arrange to meet up next time and I can't recognize you then you are welcome to point your middle finger at me so I can know it's you xP Hohohohoho~ ♥
Henry:
Muahahaha! I don't know whether you'll stalk me to my blog or not but my Facebook is definitely being spammed by your likes and comments and inbox once you online. Thanks for your support and advice during the time when I'm down and upset, but it takes time for me to truly recover. Anyhow, wait for me to sabotage you in March~ Double angpau, lai lai >:D (P.S. I don't want char siew pao, tao sar pao, chai pao or any other edible pao) Have a blessed year ahead of you and hopefully you can shake away your beer belly. Ngek ngek.
Chin Mun:
Honey, don't always say I'm bad and complain I bully you. And no, I'm not funny, I'm just humourous and the humour is found in my blood. Blek! Hopefully you are not always so emo about your friendship and don't be in relationship just because you are curious or lonely. Have a wonderful year ahead of you~ ^^ Let's find one day we go date, okay?
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