Hello. I officially claim this as my new blog. I have not deleted the old posts, mind you, but I have changed the link so I can read back all my previous posts which I wrote for the past two years. Yes, I had all the happy, upset, funny, painful and other memories in my previous blog but I think I have the necessity to restart everything again, firstly to get over my past and secondly, I want to have a fresh look on my blog. This is a simple looking blog with just my profile at the base of my blog and none others because I opted for simplicity at the moment.
I straightened my hair the next day after my exam finished and I spent a total of 6 hours in the saloon. No, the process wasn't that long but I was hanging out there until Kryss finished her work so her mother trimmed my hair after she was done with the rest of her customers. A lot of my friends said that they couldn't recognize me with my straightened hair, mainly because they were used to seeing me in my wavy hair. Anyways, I felt I looked more feminine than ever. Plus I'm more interested in skirt, dress, makeups and shoes nowadays. Er... Okay, that was awkward. I still prefer looking comfortable in jeans and baggy clothes but sometimes I wore in a more feminine way to boost my self-esteem. Ngek ngek.
I missed this wavy hair.
My hairstylist, a.k.a. Kryss' mother, was against the idea of cutting my fringe short or trimming my hair shorter because she said it wouldn't look nice. And who was I to give comment when there was a professional hairstylist there? Hehe. But the girl who straightened my hair burnt my scalp in several places when she was pulling my hair with a pair of straighteners. Not to mention, my hair was super painful when she pulled it. Ouch. My hair was getting very oily because I was to be refrained from washing it until Monday and I always had the habit of washing my hair everyday. Yuck. Now my hair looks super flat and oily.
Kryss brought me to Aeon Station 18 because she wanted to fulfill her promise of buying me Starbucks drink. It was my first time drinking Starbucks and the chocolate drink was yummy, thanks for the treat ^o^ We had our dinner/supper at Taiwan Shilin and we were catching up with each other's life. Actually, I was supposed to talk about my stuffs because I told her I'd explain when I met her. In the end, she was talking about her stuffs, which she didn't really want to talk, as what she had told me few days before she met me. I kept quiet most of the time while listening to her. Our second round was at Starbucks, whereby we sat there playing game with her phone. When we were leaving, she said she had forgotten to remember the spot she parked. I mentioned "F4" and she went, "陪你去看流星雨落在这地球上~" (one of the F4's famous songs). HAHAHA. There was a couple staring at her as if she was lunatic and I was pretending not to know her. Oh, by the way, I lost 2kg in 3 weeks time due to STPM and my pants were super loose at the waist that I needed a belt to keep my pants from falling. Oh God.
I met up with him at the kindergarten outside Jusco yesterday just to get back my sister's DVDs. How I wished I could face him properly. I couldn't. He was thanking me for lending him the DVDs and told me to keep in touch and hang out when Yee Sunn was back but all I thought of at that moment was trying to get away from his as soon as possible. It wasn't because I was scared of him. It wasn't because I hated him. It wasn't because I didn't want to see him. It was just that... Our memories kept flashing back whenever I saw him. The time we spent together, the moment we hung out together, the stuffs we did together and every little details kept flashing before my eyes. How I wished I could hug him again, having his arms wrapped around me, feeling his warmth breath when I kissed him but none of these would happen ever again in future. Tears filled my eyes when I drove away without looking back.
Most of my friends who saw that I was back to single life asked me: "What happen? Why break up? How can this happen? Are you okay? Do you not love him anymore?" I am very sure that I still love him, up to this moment and moments after now. We are still young and we are still immature in relationship. Sometimes, stuffs we did hurt each other. Sometimes, I had expected too much commitments from a 16 years old boy. And due to the reason we love and care for each other too much that every little thing we did hurt each other a lot. It was not because I was afraid of being dumped that I asked for break up and dumped him first. No. I just want him to be happy again, even if I'm not the reason for the smile on his face anymore. Therefore, I let go of my hands and wished him all the best in life. The pain will heal, the scar will fade away and I know it will take a long time. Quite a few asked me: "What if you both are given a chance to restart again as couple in future?" I don't think there's any possibility to this question. I don't think I'm ready to commit myself into any relationship (either an old or a new one) and I'm afraid that my attitude will still hurt him, as much as his broken promises and lies hurt me.
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