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There are a lot of things going-on in my mind now. I can't straighten everything out. Stress everywhere. Unfinished assignments piling up like a mountain. Tiny bit of family issues. And him. We had our first argument last Thursday, after he shared a video of one of his favourite K-Pop group singers and then tagged my name. I got so frustrated at what he wrote until I scolded him through my status. Actually, it was just a small matter but I just disliked it when he was fan-boying (is there even a term for this?) about his favourite K-Pop and he had to tag my name in it. I don't even like them, even less, like it when he said something about them. But, I don't care if he just said something about them without tagging me or involving me. Thus, I ended up looking like a goldfish with huge puffy eyes during the lecture the next day. I felt horrible. Terrible, even. I couldn't even smile full-heartedly. We made up instantly around 3 in Friday morning and met up in the afternoon after I got back from Tanjung Malim. No words said, we just hugged and stayed in each other's arms. Ever since, I detected something else from his unconscious actions and words. He said, "I won't leave you. The only person who would leave is you. Nobody knows the future." I hated those. I heard it from someone else before and that someone did everything he could to annoy and hurt me so I could just leave. And last night, I felt as if I was being screwed over and stranded alone at the corner of the bed, hugging myself to sleep in cold while he hugged the pillow and slept so comfortably at the other side of the bed. I felt so terribly awful, I wanted to grab one of the pillows which was already tossed on the floor, and sit at the corner of the room, hugging it while waiting for the time to pass so I could actually get back to my house and pack and leave. I felt like snatching the pillow from his grasp and tossed it onto the floor. Instead, I just resumed the foetal position and letting tears fall silently. And today, I should have told him to go back right after he sent me to the old campus. He waited for me twice, with my mother, and then got so impatient due to the hot weather and the long wait. I felt bad. And when they were leaving, he left without any goodbye kisses. We wouldn't be seeing each other until next month. Later on, the trip back to Ipoh wasn't the smooth one. One of the tyres got punctured. He must have hated it. I shouldn't request to go back Tanjung Malim in car anymore. It was a disaster. My luck had worn out on him. Gosh, I hate my life. I hate myself.